The Last Bath
by ProcurerFaith
Summary: There's little Kaiba can do for his baby brother now - save to send him to eternal sleep clean, with a promise of revenge and a reminder that he was loved.


_**The Last Bath**_

_**Wow – the Yu-Gi-Oh re-uploads were a long time coming! I'm finally getting round to them after – what, nearly two years? Anyway, here you go at last. I'll repost anything that wasn't a multi-parter because none of my Yu-Gi-Oh multi-parters were finished. If you want to read them anyway, drop me a line. Please remember that I will not be editing these fics in any way; they're being re-uploaded the same way they were the first time. Thanks for reading!**_

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not, in any way, shape or form own any part of Yu-Gi-Oh! or any characters from the show or the manga. They all belong to their respective owners (not me, remember). This story is produced for entertainment only and I am not being paid for this fic (sadly; it is one of my better ones). _

_Oh yeah - for those of you who haven't watched the Japanese version of Yu-Gi-Oh!, you'll need to know a couple things. First of all, I like to use the Japanese names. After all, Takahashi-sama gave him those names for a reason, right? There's a little glossary below of the Japanese names and some words for all those of you who might need it._

**Shizuka - Serenity, Joey's sister in the TV Show  
Jonouchi - Joey from the TV show (it's actually his surname)  
Honda - Tristan from the TV show (it's his surname, too)  
Anzu - Tea from the TV show.  
Jii-chan - Yugi's grandfather, Grampa  
Nii-sama -a highly respectful term for 'older brother'  
Onii-chan - the most commonly-used term for 'older brother'  
Ototo - little brother  
Aibo - partner  
-kun - an affectionate suffix for a close male friend or relative  
-chan - an affectionate term for a girl or child. Sometimes this is used between lovers.  
-san - a respectful term for a person senior in status to yourself  
-sama - a term of the highest respect, normally kept only for extremely important people **

**Mou hitori no boku – roughly translates to 'Other Me'. It's Yugi's name for Yami.**

**Daisuki da – translates very roughly to 'I like you very much' and is probably the equivalent to 'I love you' for friends and family. Not used in a romantic sense.**

_I'd like to point out at this moment that I'm not by any means an expert in Japanese, so if any of the above explanations are technically wrong, I'm sorry._

**Author's Note:** _Can I just point out that those who don't like really serious angst or character death might want to leave now? Those who don't mind that, but are of a sensitive disposition might want to get some Kleenex..._

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_**The Last Bath**_

Kaiba paused at the door to the room. Yugi looked at him, worry etched on his features.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Kaiba-kun?"

Kaiba nodded. He felt sick. It wasn't just through his physical injuries; it was in what he was about to do. The bowl of warm water in his hands shook as he tried to steady himself, pressing his forehead and hand to the door.

"Take your time, Kaiba-kun. We can go in when you're ready." Yugi's words were gentle and comforting, but Kaiba hated him for them. However, he - at least - had to be civil. He _had_ asked him to come, after all.

The hospital was quiet. This area was rarely used for live patients, after all. Behind him, as he gathered his strength, he could hear the footsteps of the nursing staff, on their way to the lunch rooms. Their steps, like small hammers on tile, reverberated around the corridor before atmospheric hiss took their place.

Kaiba pushed himself away from the door.

Yugi opened it quietly, and they walked into the dimly lit room. From where he stood, in the entrance area, Kaiba could see what he had been dreading. As Yugi closed the door, he turned back, some kind of panic rising inside him.

"Do you want to leave? Kaiba-kun, do you want me to do it?" Yugi asked, his concerned eyes searching Kaiba's face. Snapping back to his old self for a moment, Kaiba looked at Yugi and snarled,

"No. He's _my_ brother, _I'll_ do it."

He turned on his heels. As he hesitantly approached, he could see his brother's matted black hair, like spilled night, across the white pillow. His hands, small and rounded as only a child's can be, were resting on his stomach, one over the other. His eyes were closed, his lips without emotion.

Worldly woes couldn't touch Mokuba anymore. He was above them, this frozen body only the shell of his soul, now risen to new and better pastures.

Knowing that didn't ease Seto's pain one little bit.

Almost unconsciously, he put the bowl down on a nearside chest of drawers and sat beside his brother. Unraveling the towels from around his wrist, he placed them next to the bowl.

Silently, Yugi watched, his heart in dark agony.

Seto's eyes filled with tears, as his fingers reached out, searching out his brother's face. Both hands connected gently with Mokuba's cheeks, brushing off a subtle shimmer caused by the chemical bath they had given him.

"Mokuba…"

_It had been quiet. It was almost like waking up from a dream, a long night's sleep – only knowing that you had never put yourself to bed. This caused confusion in Kaiba. His mind, already fuzzy, sought for purchase as it dragged itself towards full consciousness. He kept his eyes closed while his mind tried to find something secure to latch on to._

_He could sense someone else in the room. He didn't know how, but he could. His first instinct was that it was Mokuba – who else would be in his room? And then he thought again - who else would be in his room that was _meant _to be there?_

_His eyes snapped open and he turned his head, to find himself staring into Yugi's startled eyes. _

"_Kaiba-kun!"_

_The words 'What are you doing in my room?" began to form in Kaiba's mouth, but then he stopped dead as he glanced around the room. _

_This wasn't his room._

_His room wasn't full of green curtains and white metal, and his bed certainly didn't have security bars around it. And it wasn't this small._

"_This isn't my room." He forced, a small, fully conscious part of himself hating how weak he must sound to Yugi. Yugi smiled weakly._

"_No, Kaiba-kun, it isn't. Do you know where you are?"_

"_Do I look stupid? It's a hospital. What I don't know, is _why_." He snarled, his voice disappearing somewhere near the end. "And what are you doing here, anyway? Where's Mokuba?" _

_A sudden sadness drifted across Yugi's face. _

"_Kaiba-kun? Do you really not remember why you're here?"_

"_I wouldn't be asking if I did." Kaiba snapped, trying to force his body to obey him and sit up. He was still weak, and his body fought him every step of the way. When Yugi moved forward to help him, Kaiba pushed him away. _

"_You were in an accident-"_

_And in that second, everything Yugi said disappeared, as Kaiba once again heard the screeching of__ tyres__, the screams of his drivers and bodyguards, the gunshots aimed at something behind the car he was in. He was there again, watching Mokuba turning in his seat – he himself pulling Mokuba lower, so that his head wasn't exposed, looking to see what they were firing at – the sound of windows bucking out and the sensation of being thrown into the air, grabbing for Mokuba, trying to hold him to him, grabbing at clothing, reaching out for – _

"_Mokuba! Where's Mokuba!?" Kaiba interrupted Yugi's slow explanation of what had happened. _

_Yugi was silent. He looked away._

"_We knew that you would need someone with you when you woke up, Kaiba-kun. Someone who could – " Kaiba moved forward, only his weak body stopping him grabbing Yugi by the throat and throttling the information out of him. _

"_Where is he?" he yelled, Yugi's hesitation setting his every nerve a-jangle. Yugi matched eyes with Kaiba – and at that moment, he knew._

_He knew the truth._

"_Kaiba-kun… Mokuba-kun fought so hard… But he wasn't as strong as you, his injuries were worse…_

"_He was with us for a few hours… and then he slipped away." Tears filled Yugi's eyes. _

_Kaiba stared at him, dumbfounded. Tearing his eyes away, finally, he whispered,_

"_Did he know he was dying? Did he wake up?"_

"_I…I won't answer that, Kaiba-kun…" Yugi turned away, his fists clenched. A tear slipped down his face and spattered onto his pants. _

"_So he did." Kaiba's words were monotone, his expression fixed._

"_I was with him. All he wanted was you. Only you were good enough." Yugi offered, by way of an olive branch. _

"_And I wasn't there…" Kaiba uttered. He clenched his fists amidst his covers, shaking with pent-up emotion. _

_He didn't know what to feel. In his chest there was a deep,__ agonising__ pain, threatening to eat him alive. Mokuba, his Mokuba, the little boy who adored him and the only person who really knew him, was dead._

_Mokuba was dead._

_Mokuba, was dead._

_He'd lost his beloved brother._

_Kaiba turned in the bed, his expression guarded from Yugi, and lay back down, pulling the covers tight around him. _

"_Go away." He whispered._

"_But, Kaiba-kun –" Yugi began, but this time Kaiba's voice was more forceful._

"_Go away!"_

"_You need someone to share your grief with!"_

"_I don't need _anyone_!"_

Not now! I don't have anyone to need…

_As he closed his eyes, they filled with tears._

I'm lying,_ he thought to himself. _I need Mokuba.

Two spots of wet fell onto Mokuba's white sheets. Kaiba brushed his face, as if to quickly eliminate any sign of the tears.

"Is this the first time you've seen him?" Yugi's voice emerged hesitantly from the near-darkness. Kaiba paused and nodded.

He reached out for the bowl and one of the towels, soaking the thin fabric in the water. The sounds of the cloth swishing in the water did nothing to ease the tense quiet in the room, the darkness that seemed to be hovering above them. Firmly, Kaiba squeezed out the excess water and pressed the towel gently to Mokuba's face. First, he tenderly sought out his eyes and wiped away the chemicals they had washed him with at the moment of his death.

He had wanted to do something for Mokuba. There was nothing he could do that wasn't futile now, but at least he could send Mokuba into the ground pure – let him go into the hands of death clean.

_Kaiba filled the bowl with fresh, clear water. He had bullied the nurses into filtering it for him, to get out all the impurities. He wobbled a little as he stood, but it was nothing he couldn't force his body to overcome. _

"_Kaiba-kun, what are you doing?" Yugi asked, as he entered the room. Kaiba didn't answer at first. _

"_Kaiba-kun?"_

"_Mokuba needs to be bathed. And I mean properly – not with all that chemical crap they use. That's not a bath." It was more than Kaiba had meant to say – it showed emotion. Somehow, despite his guard being up, Yugi seemed to understand his need to be useful and came to stand beside him by the bed._

"_Do you want me to come with you?"_

"_No. I want to be on my own." Kaiba's answer was instant. He stood and trembled, trying to force his body to do his bidding – but it was still damaged, and the pain in his mind was crushing all his usual defences. God damn his heart for aching so badly. _

_He took three steps towards the door – and fell to his knees, only just managing to steady the water in the bowl by some miracle. He wanted to push Yugi away when he tried to help him up, but something in his heart stopped him._

_And, he realised, that same part of him didn't want to be alone when he saw the body of his brother._

"_Help me bathe Mokuba." Kaiba instructed – on the surface, his old self- but underneath, hiding a terrible fear of seeing his brother as he now was. Cold. Lifeless._

"_Of course I will, Kaiba-kun." Yugi's answer was instant. _

Gently, ever so gently, Kaiba wiped the cloth over Mokuba's cheek bones, disturbing the beautiful long eyelashes that rested on his cheeks. Over the tiny pink lips, over his chin and his forehead, wiping away any trace of death or the chemicals that came afterwards.

Getting up and putting down the bowl once again, Kaiba pulled back the sheet that rested over his brother's body and gazed blankly at the yukata underneath. It was thin and black – and Kaiba reached down to tug away first one side and then the other in his intention to wipe his brother clean for Death.

From his place in the darkness, Yugi watched, tears glistening in the subtle light. He watched as Kaiba paused and let out a low moan – knowing that he had found his brother's injuries.

Weakly, Kaiba sat back down on the bed and traced with his finger the red lines that showed where Mokuba had been cut open – first by the crash and then by the doctors trying to save him. There was a huge scar over his chest, where they had tried to repair his torn lungs, shredded by the impact with his ribs.

Yugi closed his eyes as Kaiba turned even further away from him, shaking.

"_Yugi… Where's Nii-sama…?" Mokuba whimpered, his eyes filled with tears of dark emotion – of fear, of pain, of worry… Yugi firmly took Mokuba's hand in his and smiled._

"_Kaiba-kun is fine. He'll be just fine. We're more worried about you right now, Mokuba-kun, so you have to be brave and keep fighting."_

_The damage to his chest made it near-impossible for him to breathe. His lips were blue, and even as the doctors ushered Yugi away, Mokuba cried out for him. In an unusual break with protocol, the ER doctor let Yugi stay with Mokuba as they intubated him. Just before the tube disappeared into Mokuba's mouth, he uttered,_

"_I'm going to die… Aren't I…Yugi…?" Tears streamed down Mokuba's face. Yugi squeezed his hand tightly as the tube slowly vanished into Mokuba's throat._

"_No, Mokuba-kun… You could never die… Not really…"_

_He knew, in his heart of hearts, that what he had said was true, and at the same time, a lie. He felt the dark oppression of death close-by – but knew, that as long as Mokuba existed in the hearts and memories of his friends and brother, he could never truly be dead._

_An hour and a half later, Mokuba quietly slipped away into the warm, velvety arms of _

_eternal sleep. Yugi sat with him until the very end._

Kaiba took a deep breath and finally drew his hand away from his brother's mutilated chest. He felt weak and exposed – feelings he'd never wanted to feel again, and had never expected to after the death of his father. He had proudly proclaimed to Amelda that he would never let Mokuba die; and yet, he had done just that. The body in front of him represented the final physical form of his brother – the last form he would see before being given to the gods.

His eyes half closed, he took the towel from the bowl again, squeezed it, and gently wiped it over Mokuba's broken chest. Softly, he wiped away any signs of blood, any remainder of his brother's last hours of suffering. While he did so, he prayed that Mokuba – wherever he was now – would forgive him for his most terrible, grievous oversight. For letting him die.

When he had finished his chest, he moved forward to lift Mokuba from his resting place so that he could take him out of the yukata and finish the thorough bath he was insistant on giving his cherished sibling. Yugi moved forward to help, but was rewarded with a furious look from the elder Kaiba. He shrank back to the darkness, and to his own grief.

Tenderly, Kaiba worked his way down Mokuba's arms and to his hands, where he wiped the cloth delicately between his brother's fingers. He swabbed the cloth over the slightly rounded digits and the short, slightly unkempt fingernails - perfectly suited to a twelve year old boy. Over the angular knuckles, around the delicate wrist, inside the small palm. Kaiba missed not a fragment of skin.

"_Nii-sama? Are you okay?" Mokuba asked, his hands wandering across the utensil pot on his brother's desk. Sitting at his desk, Kaiba glanced up at the younger boy's look of concern. Brushing off his brother's unease with a wave of his hand, Kaiba replied,_

"_Of course. Why wouldn't I be? I just have a lot to prepare with the Grand Prix coming up. That's all." He looked back down at his sketchings on the paper. When he glanced up again, Mokuba was still staring worriedly at him. _

"_Mokuba, what is it?" Kaiba asked, mildly irritated by his brother's persistence._

_When he thought about it afterwards, he shouldn't have been surprised._

_Persistence was a family trait. _

"_Is there anything I can do, Nii-sama? Something to make it easier on you?" Mokuba asked, even as his brother's eyes fell back down to his hands and the sketch of the duel arena which was developing beneath them._

_Kaiba was about to reply in the negative, when he stopped to think. When he looked up this time, his expression was warmer._

"_You really would do anything you could to make this easier, wouldn't you?" he asked. Mokuba smiled, a little bashfully, and joined both hands behind his back._

"_Yeah… After all, you've done everything you can for me – to make _my_ life easier, for _all _of my life."_

"_Okay then… If you really want to do something, you can take this sketch to Isono for him to give to the manufacturers. Tell them that it needs to be finished by the 15__th__." Kaiba added a few last pencil strokes to the paper and then rolled it up and fixed it with an elastic band from the desk. He allowed himself a small smile as his brother leapt forward to complete the task assigned – loyal, as always, in everything he did. His hand overlapped Kaiba's for a moment as he took the scroll, touching at the fingers._

Kaiba rinsed the cloth again and brought it back up to Mokuba's still form, unafraid of cleaning his brother's intimate parts and knowing impassively that they would have been soiled at the time of his death. The nurses, with their limited contact and their chemical bath, had still done well. As it was, there was no outward sign of dirt, only the smallest scrap of blood and excrement as Kaiba washed along his brother's spine and down between his buttocks. Seeing this, Kaiba immediately abandoned the cloth to the floor and picked up a new one before moving on to his brother's legs and feet.

"_Nii-sama?" It took Seto a little while to come around to the tremulous voice in his ear. He turned in his bed and blinked at his little brother, whose large eyes wore a nervous – even frightened – expression. Winter was hard on the limited resources of the orphanage and the linoleum-covered floor was clearly cold on his feet, as he hopped from one to the other. Seto sat up in the bed immediately and asked,_

"_Mokuba? What is it?"_

"_I'm r-really cold, Nii-sama… Can I come sleep in with you?" Mokuba's pitiful expression immediately made the decision for Seto, and he moved over in his bed, opening the covers wide for his baby brother to climb in. Mokuba did so quickly, and Seto wrapped the covers back around his brother and tugged him close. As he got into the bed, his feet touched against Seto's, and he immediately pulled them away._

"_Mokuba, your feet are like ice!" he hissed quietly. Mokuba was about to open his mouth and apologise when Seto reached his hands under the covers and rubbed his little brother's frozen feet and legs to warm them up. When he looked back at his brother's adoring expression, he smiled._

"_Go to sleep, Mokuba. I won't let you be cold."_

Kaiba lowered his head, closing his eyes to keep the tears at bay. He had made that promise nearly eight years ago. Now, his brother lay before him, suffering the coldest of possible cold.

After placing the cloth back into the bowl, he lifted both of Mokuba's feet and rested them across his knees. Gently, he rubbed his brother's feet and lower legs with his hands, trying to lessen the bone-deep coldness within. He knew this was a battle he couldn't win – but like all the other battles in his life, it didn't stop him trying.

After a few quiet moments, Kaiba stopped. He stood unsteadily, and moved closer to Mokuba's chest, kneeling on the floor and carefully re-dressing him in the black yukata – right over left, just as it should be.

Finally, he said to Yugi, who had been watching all that time,

"Thank you for coming. Now go."

"Are you sure, Kaiba-kun?" Yugi's voice was faint from the far corner of the room.

"Yes. I want to be alone with my brother. Go." Kaiba's voice regained a little of it's fire in that one sentence.

"I'll…be outside if you need me then, Kaiba-kun." Yugi said softly.

"Don't wait." Kaiba responded – an instruction, not a request. To this, Yugi offered no answer.

Kaiba was still until he heard the door open and close quietly.

When he was sure they were alone, he whispered to Mokuba,

"There's so much I need to say – and I don't want anyone but you to hear it. You, who have always been my staunchest ally and only friend; my brother and my son, all wrapped into one bundle.

"I can't be sure that you'll hear all the things I need to say, now that it's too late to say them, but I have to try.

"Love…is a word I always found difficult, and I thought that Gozaburo had erased it completely from my vocabulary. When you were small, you never had a problem with it – you 'loved' everybody. When you used to say it to me, I always wanted to say it back - but never could. You never cared though, you just kept on telling me – like it didn't matter if I loved you back, because your love for me was enough of a drug for you.

"But…just because I didn't say it…

"It didn't mean I didn't feel it.

"I… I _do_ love you, Mokuba. I always have. It's the one thing in my life I've always had, and…sometimes it's been the only thing that saved me.

"I've never shared those times with you, never talked to you about all the good you've done for me, because I never thought it was... appropriate... Not a very 'me' thing to do…"

Kaiba pressed finger and thumb to his tear ducts and took a deep, shaking breath.

"Maybe I really should have, because then you'd know how important you are to me. Were to me. Are to me. I don't know… what I should say now.

"You've always told everybody that you knew, that our bond was unbreakable – but that didn't mean you didn't want to hear it.

"But you didn't care, did you?

"As long as I was all right, you didn't care."

Kaiba forced his shaking voice on, his body trembling from the emotion pent-up inside. Finally relinquishing his grip on his tear ducts, two huge tears slid down his face and spattered onto Mokuba's hand.

"It's…strangely funny, because that's all that mattered to me. That you were all right, I mean. Even through all of those times when Gozaburo would treat me like a dog, or force me to stay up all night studying, or even those blessed times when he would ignore my existence – it didn't matter so long as you were okay. So long as you were in your PJ's, tucked up in your warm bed, dreaming sweet dreams. Nothing else mattered.

"Somewhere along the road to beating Gozaburo at his own game, somewhere on that dark road, I lost the importance of that very thing, that very, simple thing.

"I became like him – _just_, like him.

"But it was you, it was always you who called me back to myself, who reminded me that I am human although sometimes I wonder… I wonder at myself…."

Kaiba buried his head in his hands.

"The truth is, Mokuba, that I'm scared. Your Nii-sama is scared. I'm terrified of what I will become without you. In you, lies all my compassion, my hope, my happiness, my heart…

"Without you… Will the human part of me die? Will I forget how to feel those things that you bring out in me so keenly?

"Without you, and the threat to you, I feel no panic, no pain… The only things that engulf me still are my anger and hatred. I said I would let my hatred die, I promised you… But it's difficult to change the lessons force-fed to you from the age of 10, Mokuba."

Kaiba brushed away his earlier tears from Mokuba's hand, caressing the skin there gently as he did so. He took a deep, shuddering breath, and put his hand across his mouth.

He glanced at Mokuba from the corner of glassy, tearful eyes and forced,

"And today… Oh, God forgive me Mokuba, but today…

"I knew what was coming. I knew, I _knew_, that there was trouble on the way. I didn't know when or where, but I knew that there was trouble. I should never have let you travel with me today, I should have conducted all my business alone but, damn you, you will insist on coming with me _everywhere_.

"I love you for it, but I also loathe it because it makes you a target.

"I swore to Amelda that I would always save you. That I would never let you die. That in his position, I would have never let you die the way his brother did.

"When he asked me if I was sure, there was no doubt in me.

"You were there to hear that promise.

"And you were there, beside me today. Just as you were then.

"There won't be-"

Kaiba froze, deep enough in grief to want to say it, but also wanting to drag himself from the painful past like a phoenix rising. But he didn't have the strength.

"There won't be another time that you're beside me. The next time you are at my side will be when I am buried next to you in the cold ground."

His expression folding into intense grief, Kaiba leaned forward and pushed his face into Mokuba's yukata, his head pressed into his brother's stomach.

"I've made you so many promises Mokuba, and broken so many…

"But the one thing I will promise you, and will give you…

"Is that the bastards who took you from me will pay in ways they cannot even imagine yet.

"They may have taken you from me, but the whole world will know when I find them, and the whole world will see my anger and my hatred of them… The whole world will see how I destroy them from the inside-out, as they have done us.

"Let me hate just once more, Mokuba…

"Let me hate them…

"For if I cannot hate them, then… The only person left to hate is myself."

He pulled his face from Mokuba's yukata and tidied it, pulling it tight over his disfigured chest. Shakily, he wiped his face with his hand, trying to dam the tears that wouldn't seem to stop. He took a moment to compose himself before he spoke again.

"But I love you too much to hate myself.

"How can I hate myself when I know your love was strong enough for both of us?"

He moved forward carefully and stroked back his brother's night-black bangs tenderly. Gently, so gently, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Mokuba's cheek.

"Sleep well in your cloud castle, little prince. Your father, the king, will be sure to avenge you.

"Sleep well, until he is once again by your side.

"God speed you to heaven, little boy, because if anyone deserves it, it's you."

With no more words, Kaiba lifted the bowl, and the extra towel from the floor. Glancing once more back at the cherubim-like little boy as he lay in his semi-final bed, Kaiba opened the door, closing it gently behind him as he left for the real world.

_~Fini~_

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_Thank you very much for reading! :D_


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